When you read Psalm 139, which word or verse(s) speaks most deeply to you? Why?

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).

The first time I remember hearing this verse aloud, I felt like someone was reading it just to me. I was 23, and on a retreat after my first year of teaching. I was feeling pretty tired and very aware, of what felt like, all of my shortcomings. I was doodling in my notebook when the retreat leader repeated the words to echo, “YOU are fearfully and wonderfully made.” Wonderfully made. I wrote it down in loopy letters, like I did with words I wanted to remember. Wonder-full.

I knew God was speaking to me, wanting me to recognize the beauty that he created IN ME. Not because of me, or in spite of me. I was wonderfully made and all of the faults and lacking that I was feeling, these were, in fact, a gift, a part of who God made me to be.

What does it mean to be “enough”? How does feeling enough or not feeling enough play out in your everyday life? How does it affect your relationship with God?

In my head, I am rarely enough. My eyes see the forgotten thoughtfulness, the misplaced responsibility, the lacking enthusiasm. Slowly, I’ve been learning to listen to my heart where I think the Holy Spirit allows me to hear the best. My heart has a gentler voice, and it’s in prayer that I am able to have a fuller picture of my daily purpose. I’ve been practicing meditation, calming my breath to slow my thoughts, and it’s helped me to listen more in prayer. For so long, my prayer life has been a lot of me talking - in petition and thanksgiving and repentance. I guess my head talks a lot when I try to focus. My heart is quiet and attentive when I can be still so I’m trying to spend at least ten minutes (I know, it’s not a lot) a day in total stillness and quiet to listen to God’s voice. This simple act has helped me feel like enough.

If you could offer yourself wisdom on this subject what would it be? What does your heart need to hear today?

My prayer in the midst of a difficulty in a relationship is often, “Lord, help me to see this person with Your eyes. Help me to put my feelings to the side and see with understanding and compassion.” I’m sure you’ve heard it before, but I remind myself that I need to speak to myself like my best friend would - with tenderness and understanding and honesty. My resolution for my prayer life this year was to keep this thought in my heart all year long - God is always on my side. I forget a lot. If God is for us, who can be against us?
​

When you read Psalm 139, which word or verse(s) speaks most deeply to you? Why?

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).

This verse stands out to me, because it is what I need to be reminded of, over and over again. I am made in the image and likeness of a loving God, who knows & cares for me infinitely, but I often overlook this. When I am quick to be critical about my appearance, or wondering if I am worthy of love, this verse is a powerful reminder to give all praise to my Creator.

What does it mean to be “enough”? How does feeling enough or not feeling enough play out in your everyday life? How does it affect your relationship with God?

For me, being enough means resting in the truth that I am loved just as I am. So much of my daily life is spent striving to excel in my different roles: wife, sister, daughter, youth minister, friend, creator. But with the Lord, there is no need to impress, pretend to be someone I’m not, or try to do more in order to gain His favor. He simply asks me to sit with Him and humbly offer what I have.

If you could offer yourself wisdom on this subject what would it be? What does your heart need to hear today?

You are strong. You are good enough. You are loved.
​

When you read Psalm 139, which word or verse(s) speaks most deeply to you? Why?

​O Lord, you know it completely (Psalm 139:4). Jesus knows everything about me: the desires of my heart, my fears and insecurities, my need to be in control sometimes, etc. He already knows it all. I do not even have to say a word, He sees and knows it all. This reminds me that I am never forgotten or overlooked by God. I am always known and seen, He never forgets about me. I find a lot of comfort in this especially as a very type-A, sometimes controlling person when it comes to the spiritual life and trusting God with my life.

What does it mean to be “enough”? How does feeling enough or not feeling enough play out in your everyday life? How does it affect your relationship with God?

To me, being enough means I am enough just the way I am, the ways God created me to be. It also means that Jesus alone has to be enough for me, no other person or relationship or desire of my heart can fill that space. This question holds a lot of personal meaning for me. This is my second tattoo on the inside of my right arm, “You are enough.” For me I took the words from St. Francis of Assisi: O God, You are enough for me. I need these words as a constant reminder to speak truth into my doubts or insecurities when they try and creep in.

I spent many years not feeling enough and not liking myself. It is exhausting and draining and destructive. While I still have hiccups of old lies I once believed, I am more whole and at peace in my body and spirit than I ever have been in my life. What does it look like to feel enough in my everyday life? Reminding myself who I am and whose I am. My only name is Beloved. That is the only way Jesus Christ see’s me, the only name He will ever call me. When I remember that I am beloved, I root myself deeper in the truth that I am enough, just the way I am.

If you could offer yourself wisdom on this subject what would it be? What does your heart need to hear today?

The one piece of wisdom I can share is something I have had to practice in my own life. And that is the power in speaking God’s truth over yourself; even if you don’t feel or believe it. For a period of my life, I was setting alarms each day to go off at different times where I would stop and pray, “Jesus, help me to see and love myself the way that You do.” Day in and day out, I would speak those words over my heart and mind. When we can see and love ourselves as our God does, then we can claim our true identity as Beloved.

When you read Psalm 139, which word or verse(s) speaks most deeply to you? Why?

Your eyes beheld my unformed substance. In your book were written all the days that were formed for me, when none of them as yet existed. (Psalm 139:16)  I love this psalm, because it’s a psalm of hope for those who are in the middle of their journey home to Heaven. It’s filled with so much goodness, it’s hard to pick just one verse or word, but if I have to pick just one, it’s Psalm 139:16. I like to think of life as a story book. Some has already been written, but there are a lot of blank pages left to be filled out. Reading this verse reminds me of this analogy in the most perfect way - our Lord has a book for each of us. And I imagine there’s a library in Heaven filled with billions of stories, all uniquely created. And this comparison also shows the sanctity of each person’s life. We live in a world now where we shoot for the masses - how many followers can we get on social media, how can we make the biggest impact, how can we reach more people - and we forget that each individual person has a story. This verse reminds me that I have my own God-written story and so does everyone around me.

What does it mean to be “enough”? How does feeling enough or not feeling enough play out in your everyday life? How does it affect your relationship with God?

To be “enough,” means to see yourself as a true child of God. To be rooted in who you are as He created you, and not as the world tells you to be. It means taking the time in prayer and reflection to discover your true authentic self. That’s the self that doesn’t have to try to do or be anything else. It’s the self that’s pure, well-formed in faith, and constantly looking for and living in the light.

For me, being enough is something I have to remind myself of every single day. It’s so easy to get caught up in what’s going on in the world - what everyone else is doing and what the new trends are - I have to make sure I don’t become preoccupied with what the world says, and instead focus on where God is calling me each and every day. Reminding myself of this, brings me closer to God, because He must be my lighthouse. He must be the one navigating me each and every day, or else I’ll fall prey to the pettiness of this world. So, in essence, it brings me closer to Him.

If you could offer yourself wisdom on this subject what would it be? What does your heart need to hear today?

Keep going. Keep fighting the good fight. I recently dove into some of the readings from St. Faustina’s diary, and was reminded of Jesus’s love and mercy. His words to St. Faustina were exactly what I needed to hear in the moment, because they reminded me that if I stay close to Him and cling to His mercy I will see eternal life. It opened up my eyes to how we can use our suffering for good. And it showed me that I am good and enough, because He is good and enough, and He is the one who created me. Right now, at this and every stage in life, it is my responsibility to be a living testimony for Him. And for me that’s all I need to know that I am enough.

Thank you so much for sharing your heart with us and being a part of She Speaks, Maria!
We are so blessed by your wisdom and your beautiful spirit!
​

Do you ever wish you could have a do-over of Lent?

Full disclosure: somewhere around day 3, I totally messed up on my Lenten promises.

Today, I'm reflecting on how (if?) I really made the most of this liturgical season to draw closer to Christ through my actions and prayers. I am so imperfect, and yet it is that gift of imperfection, my own humanity, that blessedly tells me that I need Jesus with every breath I take. I want to hear His voice, feel His embrace, know His love. I seek to know Him in the stillness of my heart.

I long to behold Him.
​
This year, my friend Kara of Pursuing Purpose Blog and I created a free resource that would help us come to know Jesus more deeply through the Gospels of the Easter Octave. Together, we will journey with Him in the days immediately following the Resurrection. We will see Him appear to His disciples over and over and we will hear His voice lovingly inviting US to become the Kingdom of God.

Together, we will BEHOLD Jesus this Easter Season.

BEHOLD is a free, downloadable reflection book for the Easter Octave. Using the tradition of Ignatian imaginative prayer, each of the 8 days includes a rewritten Gospel passage (with lots of sensory details to help you mentally place yourself into the Gospel for that day), stunning artwork, and daily call & response card to help you journey with the newly resurrected Jesus.

Behold is all about being - being still, being silent, and being present to and with Jesus. Whether you pray through Behold individually or with your family, Behold will empower you to experience the joy of the Resurrection in a new and powerful way.

You can download Behold for FREE today by clicking HERE. 

Behold Jesus with us this Easter season!

There is never any traffic.
There are no bad drivers.
No stop signs. No rush hour. No brake lights.

Back in the day, I used to look forward to my drive home from work. It was an opportunity to unwind, listen to some tunes, and drop by the Starbucks drive-thru. More importantly, it was a chance to reflect on and pray about the happenings of my day. 

As a stay-at-home mom, I no longer have a physical commute. I do, however, have the chance to reflect on my day during my evening prayers. Some days, I have the time to read out of a favorite devotional or to sit and ponder the daily readings. Other days, I struggle to keep my eyes open as the first opportunity for calm doesn't arrive until my head hits the pillow. (Parents of small children, I know you can relate!)

One of my reasons for creating The Examen Journal was to really reinforce my "evening commute" with God each and every day. I put pen to paper for a few minutes as I revisit the events of the past 24 hours and seek the presence of the Divine in my life.

God is always there, even in the simplest of moments. 

As I "drive home" tonight, I'm praying for us all, friends, that we are empowered to make time to see the beautiful presence of God in our every day.

​Last week, I had this moment. I turned to my husband, Greg, and said, "What on earth am I doing? Who am I to be doing all of this creative work? I don't have a background in art or design or writing. Am I just a poser?" Without my realizing it, doubt had crept slowly into my heart as I diligently worked the past several months on all that is Creating To Love. In the blink of an eye, I felt absolutely paralyzed. 

Doubt makes us believe we aren't worthy enough...doubt cancels our projects, our dreams, our goals...doubt prevents us from sharing our God-given talents with the world. Doubt tells us that we don't belong to a God of beauty, truth, and goodness.

And yet, doubt does not, can not, and will not halt our prayers. Perhaps, sometimes, doubt forces us to look beyond the comforts of our superficial successes to seek more deeply the only One who can save us and bring us into being most fully ourselves.

As I went to sleep that night, I frustratingly asked God, "Where are you in all of this?!"

The next morning, I read the daily Gospel (isn't God's word often so timely!) and heard Jesus say to Peter, and really, to me, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?"

Jesus heard Peter's desperate plea and prayer for help, "Jesus, save me!"  With arms of love, Jesus scooped Peter up out of that stormy sea of doubt and reminded him whose he was. 

"Mary, why did you doubt?" I may not know what I'm doing most of the time (read that, all of the time, and honestly, who does?), but I do know that I want to set my eyes on my Creator and be reminded that I am creating to Love.

Today, let's pray for each other that we steady ourselves and focus on hearts on God in all of our endeavors!

Last week, just after a dinner of sandwiches and salad, my three year old son popped up off the floor and proudly exclaimed, "I did it all by myself!" 

He stood there, with a grin as wide as his sweet face, his little 4T khaki shorts pulled all the way up to his waist...backwards. 

For the very first time, he had pulled up his shorts all by himself. He may have done it backwards, but...he did it all by himself!

My husband, Greg, and I laughed later that night at the sweetness and humor of this particular milestone.

And then it hit me.

Here I am, crafting this website, beginning a new creative adventure, and sharing my art and writing. In all of that vulnerability, I have no doubt that I'm going to make numerous mistakes and missteps, that others will chuckle with me in my youthfulness as an artist, and that I am probably going look like I'm standing up with a gleeful grin on my face with my shorts on backwards.

But. I'm doing this. I'm learning the ropes of buying ISBNs and setting up printing bleeds and pouring fluid acrylic on canvas and painting in my Bible and setting up an artboard in Adobe Illustrator and scanning my own drawings. I'm finally bringing this dream of a creative ministry to life. 

And yet, unlike my son. I'm not doing it all by myself.

God, my Creator, is calling me out of myself to design and write and paint from a place of love in service of others. My prayer is that Creating To Love always remains focused on God, that my desire to create only brings God's beauty further into the world, and that through this ministry, others more deeply know how fully they are loved.

And so here I stand, with my "shorts on backwards" joyfully ready to share Creating To Love with you.

Let's pray for each other that we might always be willing to bring ourselves and our vulnerability to the table with such joy!